Returning to the Body

Consider how you have met your body over the years.

How did you grow into knowing your body from childhood on?

How have you related to your body through different stages of life?

How has illness, or a turning point in your health, reintroduced you to your body?

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Returning to the body
as if it were an old friend
waiting quietly on the porch
never leaving
never judging
only watching me come and go

I think of childhood
when the body was a field
bare feet in grass
knees scraped open
laughter louder than pain

I did not question it then
I simply lived inside it

Later
I began to negotiate
to shape
to compare
to push and ignore
to listen less
and demand more

as if the body were something
to manage
not something that was me

Years passed
and the body kept score
in whispers first
then in louder voices

fatigue
aches
small signals I brushed aside
because the world was louder

Then cancer
a word that stops time
a word that pulls you back
into the very place you left

Now I meet my body again
not as a stranger
but as something sacred

something carrying me
through fire and fear
through nights that stretch too long

I listen now
to breath
to pain
to the quiet strength that remains

I place my hand on my chest
and feel not just a heartbeat
but a conversation

The body is not against me
it is speaking
it has always been speaking

And here I am
returning
slowly
honestly

learning again
how to live inside my own skin
with respect
with wonder
with care